 12/12/15 Today I am feeling extremely grateful for life. Five years ago today I embarked on one of the biggest mental and physical challenges in my life. To explain my gratitude, here is an email I sent out 5 years ago… Happy New Year Family This is my little story of what has happened to me over the last few weeks and how being hospitalized has affected me. It's a pretty long story but it will answer all of your questions. My life has taken a drastic change in the last three weeks. Who knew what was in store for me as I prepared to cheer on my Dallas Cowboys on December 12, 2010. Since that day I have been in and out of the hospital three times! The last visit being the most drastic of them all. I initially entered the hospital and was released thinking that it was just food poisoning. I was admitted back two days later and spent the next couple of days laying on my back as they attempted to discover what was going on with me. After what appeared to be a "back up" in my colon I was diagnosed with gastroenteritis. Thinking that all I needed to do was use the bathroom "real good", everything would be back to usual. I spent the next week weakened but back to my "Norm". On Christmas Eve I started to feel these sharp pains again! I also begin vomiting like crazy. I didn't think it would lead to me being hospitalized again! No, I had enough of that place! Unfortunately I lost the fight early Christmas morning and I ended right back there. The rest of the story is sort of a blur but I will try to explain as best as I can. I remember a tube being placed back up my nose that went down my throat to my stomach. I wasn't put to sleep for this procedure, I had to sit there and take it. I was told that there was an obstruction that will have to be surgically removed. "Oh sh*t! My abs!!!" Sorry but that was the first thing that came to mind. Instantly I became depressed about the situation. I showed the doctors videos of me working out and explained to them that I have been filming for over a year and cutting my muscles will ruin my life. After watching the videos the doctors decided to wait a few days to see if the inflation in my stomach would go down enough for them to perform a laparoscopic incision instead. The x-rays and CAT scan showed that I had some serious scar tissue from an appendicitis surgery I had when I was 9 years old. The scar tissue had wrapped around my colon and spread in a couple of other places. I'm sitting there thinking, "It's been 20 years and I am just now having complications? WTH?" Anyway the next few days I saw my wild spirit being broken down by all the drugs and this cage without bars. Every two hours they were taking blood, giving me drugs, checking my vitals, or poking on me. On top of that, I hadn't eaten in a week! The inflation finally went down enough where they felt comfortable performing the laparoscopic procedure. I was so tired and ready to get it over with. I started quoting "See It Through" and I made jokes all the way down to the operating room. There was no one there to put me on the table so I hopped off the bed onto the table myself as the nurses and doctors prepped. I was handed the anesthesia, I cracked my last joke and I was out as fast as you can turn off a light switch. I woke up in a recovery room. I was surrounded by curtains, and I heard someone, one curtain over moaning. I instantly felt the urge to pee. The nurse came over and gave me this jug to "use it" in. I was thinking, "how in the hell am I gonna pee while laying on my back in a jug?" After waiting ten minutes for this miracle to happen she told me that they were about to take me to my room. I pleaded with her to allow me to stand and "I guarantee I will pee within three seconds". She allowed me to do so and sure enough Old Man River began streaming. "awwwww". Once back into the room, I was feeling positive and confident. I figured it's time to go home! The doctors came in to check their work, oh and check on me but they didn't allow me to see. I was told that I needed to sleep. The next day my "adopted Jamaican mom" who was my nurse that morning, came in and she showed me the incisions. I was thinking that I wouldn't see anything. "They are only incisions, I have slept over night, they probably look like tiny little scratches by now". Up went my hospital gown and she pointed the three incisions out to me. One above my navel and two on the left side of my obliques. "SCRATCHES?, IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE BEEN SHOT THREE TIMES WITH A 9MM!!! "WAIT! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE INCISIONS? THESE ARE BULLET WOUNDS!" I was told to calm down and it would have been worse if they had cut me. I was NOT in the least calm. "What happened to my body? Where is my six-pack? Who the hell did this to me?" I was not happy! I was told that I needed to walk around in order to feel better and get out of there. I didn't want to walk, I didn't want anyone seeing me, and I felt like crap! Knowing that I didn't want to be stuck in there, I put on oversize clothes to hide my build as I walked. Walking down the hospital floors pushing an IV stand was NOT a good look, but having my body stolen away from me and replaced with this "loaner" body was definitely the last straw. I couldn't walk as far as I had been walking the last couple of days, my breath and steps got shorter and I wasn't as cheerful. Once back in my room, life for me again began to change. I saw myself losing hope, the drugs had begun to take over my thoughts, anxiety attacks were rampant, and depression was at an all time high. I refused to fight. They were feeding me stuff that I preached against consuming. Why am I in the hospital being served products with HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP? Coffee? I don't drink coffee! Coffee is a drink for grown ups. I don't know why, but I always felt that grown ups drank coffee and I know that I am grown but I have yet to feel THAT grown. Anyway, back to the food. Italian-ice, broth, and jello? They might as well have given me sugar and salt packets and said bon appetit! I was told that if I could handle this meal without any problems then I would be "bumped up" to the next stage. Great! Next stage I am ready! "MILK? PUDDING? I DO NOT CONSUME DAIRY PRODUCTS! "Huh? What do you mean? "I mean I DO NOT and WILL NOT consume ANYTHING from a cow!" Oh okay. I was instantly downgraded back to the sugar and salt diet. I had enough! I was told that I could have anything I wanted for dinner but when they brought the same meal in. I WENT OFF!!! EVERYBODY became a victim! "I AM NOT EATING THIS!!!" "Call my doctor!" No! No! No! AGGGGGHHH!!! You all promised me FOOD! I want food! The nurses got a tongue-lashing, the techs, the cleaning crew, the charge nurse, the kitchen, and anybody else in the range of my eyesight! Finally after about an hour of intense irrational behavior, I got what I wanted. Egg whites, baked potato, and toast! HMMMMM!!! I know right! Well, that is what made me happy that night. I requested not to be bothered and I didn't want any more pain medicine. I hated what it was doing to my mental psyche. Previously, no matter what went wrong in my life, I always had my health and it gave me the confidence to fight through anything. I had no worries! I would just go workout and everything would feel better. Going to workout saved me from any mental depression. Now all of sudden the ONE thing that kept me going has been taken away. I couldn't go workout! I didn't have the physical ability to change my current situation, I had to heal. So I am sitting in a room refusing to watch TV, refusing to cope, and refusing to fight against the mental toll the drugs were taking over my mind. I started thinking that if I died right now that I wouldn't really care. My fear of death totally escaped my body. For the first time I was not afraid to die. I figured that I have done enough fighting to instill in everyone's heads to make fitness a part of their lifestyle. Plus Gie (my video producer) who I love like one of my own sisters had enough material that I had recorded over the last two years, which would make a great documentary of my fight for a healthier planet. So as my mind "went there" I was encouraged to take a walk. Instead of walking the same hospital floor, I was directed down the elevator to the main lobby. A chair was pulled out for me and I got a chance to see outside. Wow! To others it may have seemed like a gloomy rainy day but as I sat there alone I thought about how great it looked outside! The grey clouds and the rain looked beautiful! I began to get inspired again! I felt hope, desire and the drive to get back on top of my fitness. I started seeing myself working out, I envisioned my scars leaving, and I pictured recording myself everyday to help inspire those who didn't feel inspired. Allowing people to see my fight might be the trick to show how important a healthy lifestyle is. "OKAY, I AM READY! Let's do this! D is back!" I wanted to start right then and there. So as I started standing up in the lobby, I was told to come to my room, I was being discharged and the doctors were waiting to speak to me. I pushed that IV stand as fast as I could up to my room. Once in my room the doctors explained that I had a lot of stool in my colon and it needed to come out. I hadn't had a bowel movement in weeks. I was told I needed a suppository or enema but I refused. I told the doctor I didn't want to feel like a rape victim. After a few minutes of trying to persuade me they could see that I would not change my mind. So I was told about some things that I could take orally but I figured that I will eventually have a "bm" on my own. So after I was given my clearance papers and an appointment for next week, I was sent home. FINALLY! On my way home the first thing I noticed was the gas prices! WOW! $3 a gallon! What happened over the last few weeks? Anyway, home sweet home! I walked all over my house as if it was the first time. Then I hit the bathroom. I shaved, showered, shampooed, but NO shit. Oh well, it has to happen at some point. As I got back familiar with my place I decided to walk up and down the stairs for a couple of rounds for exercise. I sat down to eat some jerk chicken, rice and peas, and yes coco bread. I thought I would be able to eat my weight in food but I was only able to eat a very small portion before I became full. I sat down and watched TCU prevail over Wisconsin and I called it a night. I am looking forward to watching the cowboys play the eagles today and that will pretty much complete my day. I am sorry for not allowing you all to come visit me but it is very disheartening to be seen looking this way. I have lost a lot of weight, my chest and arms are the size of when I was 13, and my infamous six-pack no longer exists. I always felt like I was the representative of what fitness is. Right now, it's not the case. I would hate to see one of your shocked faces during this trying time. Trust me, it will not take long, I am so encouraged to be back in the best shape of my life so I can see you all. That is my motivation! So please bear with me for the next couple of weeks as I regain my strength to move around and talk. Also, please do not think I am ignoring your emails, voice messages, or text. I really haven't had the strength to review my computer to read or listen to them. I decided to write this "book" so you can be fully updated on everything that has been going on. I will be responding to you all individually over the next couple of days starting tomorrow. I promise. I am not sure if you all are aware of this but I do not use a telephone. I text, chat, I.M., and email from my computer. So I do not get alerts when you text, I have to check them as I do my emails. Anyway, it might be a little difficult to explain my technology form of communication but it works for me. So please continue to send me your shout outs and your prayers. I have a strange way of feeling your vibes when you channel them in my direction. Thank you! I really do mean it. I have realized that I have taken a lot of things for granted but I am slowly but surely beginning to know what it means to have friends. I am such a loner that I didn't allow myself to see you (my blessings). Love, feeling loved, or receiving love are subjects that I do not know anything about, so it's hard to comprehend when someone is trying to illustrate these emotions. I somehow built a wall that protects me from feeling vulnerable, but in the same construction I have managed to shut a lot of people out of my life. I apologize and I will work on bettering my acceptance of this emotion. It will not happen overnight but I will put forth the effort to allow others in, accept help, and stop being too prideful. I know many of you have offered to help or give me things over the last couple of years and I have turned you down or pushed you away. My bad. It's 2011; I'll start the New Year off constructing a new and improved D. I love you as much as I know how to love and thank you for continuing to decide to be a part of my life. Thank you and I will see you soon! Happy New Year!!!! Since then…  April 2011 I was physically back to normal and conducting Yardie Fitness Boot Camp classes. December 8, 2011 9:30pm Yardie Fitness ended its finally fitness class.  May 14, 2012 6:30pm D Wizard of Abs Beast Mode one of the most challenging self-rewarding fitness programs offered its first fitness class.  January 1, 2015 shared publicly for the first time the video of being in the hospital in 2010. December 12, 2015 In great physical condition feeling stress-free looking forward to the New Year.
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